I know it's been a number of weeks since I have updated this blog. Heck, today is my final day of Phase II. I will post measurements soon. I am sure you're wondering...am I pleased with the results? Was it worth it? How did I deal with life and the diet? Something to think about --- it's not over yet. I still have Phase III to get through. After that, it's about a lifetime of change. However, let me get to the past 5 weeks.
My life has been completely crazy nuts. I am back in school, working full time, and have been involved in two theatrical productions. One just wrapped up last week Saturday. It was "The Wonderful Super Duper Delicious Variety Show" and it was a great time! However, I became an organizer on the show, an emcee and a performer. (Here is the link to the video of my belly dance! http://youtu.be/DqDg17NfT40) This week I have rehearsal for "The Vagina Monologues" for the next 4 nights from 6-10 (which is where I am right now writing this). I admit, I bit off way more than I should while on HCG and consuming only 500 calories a day for 41 days as the diet dictates. One should avoid as much stress as possible and get as much sleep as one can. I have retained water like crazy these last 5 weeks. I have had stalls in my weight loss that started about 2 weeks ago. These stalls had me crying and frustrated, even borderline depressed at times (but not clinically). My husband had to hold me for an hour when I gained back 1.3 pounds on Valentine's Day. I cried almost the entire time he held me. The day before I was 142.7, the next day I was 144. How could this happen to me? Was it really worth doing all the work to experience a set back when I had obeyed the rules? These were the thoughts running through my head. Turns out the gain was due to water retention and stress. When you belly dance like crazy for 3 nights in a row (even for just 5 min - granted it's a rigorous routine) and have an insane amount of stress - it doesn't matter if you obey the rules of the diet - you're body isn't going to like it. Previously in the same week I had stalled for 3 or 4 days. An "Apple Day" did nothing to remedy this. (For those who don't know - an "Apple Day" is used to break a stall of more than 3 days. You eat nothing but 5 apples for a day) I also had another Apple Day on Valentine's Day.
I learned a couple of things that I would like to impart on you:
1. There are some breadsticks that are approved on the diet. The brand recommended is "Grissini". However, there are two brands that use this name. One is alright. The other is the devil. I learned this the hard way via stalling. You want the long thin Italian ones. They are about 12 calories each, and they are a bitch to find in a grocery store. I remember my husband and I running around the grocery store back and forth, back and forth trying to find them. It was the end of the night, and we were both exhausted - I was at my wits end.
2. Melba Toast is no longer safe. They have added sugars and molasses to their recipes. BEWARE!
3. Squeeze your own damn lemon juice. Count the calories from it. With store bought lemon juices, there is a high chance of "Lemon Oil" being in the ingredients somewhere.
4. Have supportive people in your life. My husband has been amazing through this whole process. The day I had my crying fit with the weight gain was Valentine's Day. As stated above, I decided to do an "apple day". When I got to work I went to the Mass Comm office to check my mail, and there were people eating cupcakes. My boss, who has been sensitive to what I am going through, asked the secretarial assistant to put the cover back on the box - so I didn't have to smell/look at them due to my "diet". The man behind the desk said, "That's not my problem, it's yours," directing his comment to me. I left the office crying. Jon called me a couple hours into my work day to see how I was doing. I told him what happened. Later that day, when I was in the last half hour of my on-air shift, Jon surprised me with a heart shaped balloon bouquet of 14 balloons. On top of that he filled a heart shaped white plastic basket filled with little gifts with post-it notes attached to each item and how it pertained to me and the love he feels for me. Some examples of items in the basket: a "lipstick" shaped pen that said "Your great fashion sense". A deck of cards read, "Because you never stop using your talents" (I needed a deck for my monologue). A mini "build-a-bear" said "You're my best friend". It gets more and more loving with each item. I really needed that. He blew my mind. Jon managed to give me the best Valentine's Day ever! That evening we sat in the sauna together, and then went grocery shopping. I couldn't be happier. The next day I was back to 142.7. My gain diminished. The sauna, apple day, but mostly Jon's love and care for me are responsible for that. Oh, and he also bought me a gift certificate for a spa day! Ahhhhhhhhh!
5. Only do HCG if you can handle it. Pick a time when your life is not crazy.
So, am I happy with my Phase II results? Yes. This didn't hit me till Friday. I managed to drop 20.4 pounds as of today (Sunday). I weigh in at 140! I would have liked 138, but - I lost 20.4 pounds! I'll take it! We will see if I have lost more tomorrow when I step on the scale. This week I managed to go out and buy new jeans. Not because I wanted to, but because I NEEDED to. (Previous to starting the HCG injections, I was wearing my size 10's as my 8's that I loved were getting uncomfortably
tight.) The two new pairs of jeans I purchased: One is a size 6, and the other a size 4. Holding up the jeans, I could not believe how small the waist looked. This is the smallest I remember being ever. I really am in denial about the whole size 4 thing, but I am not going to question it. I am just going to enjoy it - and realize it's not about a number. It's about being healthy.
Tomorrow I start Phase III, and I'll admit - I am nervous. I am also excited about being able to start adding in calories. Over the next week I need to add in about 142 calories a day to reach 1500 by next Sunday. It's going to seem odd - like a lot of food to ingest. I have to weigh myself everyday and see how my body reacts to different foods. This way I will be able to tell if I have an adverse reaction to dairy, nuts, ect. You usually try one different thing a day, that way you can identify a problem food based off how what the scale tells you the next day. If I were to go over two pounds my lowest achieved weight, I need to do a "steak day". A "steak day" entails me eating nada all day till dinner, drinking water. Then I can eat the largest steak I desire with an apple OR a tomato (not both!). This will set my weight point back to "normal" (lowest weight achieved in Phase II). I have to obey this, for if I skip a "steak day" when I need it, I will have reset my new weight to this "new" weight I find myself at (somewhere 2+ lbs over my "normal" weight). I am still off of sugars and carbs for three more weeks during Phase III.
After Phase III, (referred to as Phase IV or "lifetime maintenance") I need to still check in on the scale and maintain with "steak days" when needed. It's about persistence, maintenance and having a healthy life style. It's about saying "no" to peer pressure food situations like holidays and parties (which I have turned down consistently throughout this diet). For example: Easter is approaching and Jon and I will be expected to attend a lunch and a dinner in the same day. We will eat probably at one, or just pack something to share that we can enjoy. Something healthy. It doesn't mean we can't practice moderation with goodies. It's just our families aren't really health conscious at these gatherings. People (and by that I mean "parents") are constantly pushing food on you. Trust me, "pushing" is not an understatement by any means. It literally feels that way - and I am not the only one who has commented on this. I felt ill, literally ill after Christmas this year. In fact, I was out sick for a week. I am sure that has more to due with stress than food - at the same time I am positive it's all related. After you have been on HCG and you "overindulge" you may feel sick. It's part of the whole "reset" your body goes through when reprogramming the hypothalamus gland which controls the metabolism.
Another thing - Jon's co-workers always like to go out where the food is insanely unhealthy. My game plan is to either not go, or if I do choose to go - get an idea of what is on the menu and go into the situation already knowing what to order. Then I have a game plan before I even set foot in the establishment. I know I can count on my loving hubby to hold me to it as well. This is a good plan to live by when going out to eat. It's usually a standard practice for Jon and I. We just got lazy during the holidays. Ordering in Chinese food once a week, not caring at family gatherings, drinking soda, frequenting restaurants. Another thought was "Well, heck. We'll be dieting anyway after the holidays". Our plan is to not let that happen again. There should be no need for a diet after the holidays. I was still exercising 3-4 times a week - but if you put crap in - it's hard to get out (or off!). Another misconception is "If I exercise a lot today, I can eat more tonight!" This is not a healthy mentality. I have been trapped by this on way more than one occasion!
Another question I have been asked, "Would you do it again?" My answer is I hope to never be in a position that I should have to. With work and school and all the other trouble I get myself into - it is not realistic that I would do it again. If I had to - sure. However, I think Jon has suffered enough. The other night he asked me, "Are you happy?" to which I said "Yes" and he was relieved. I say this has been a success! I am glad that I did it, but what makes me really happy - is that this roller coaster is now going up a much easier hill to climb than the first two! On to Phase III! This is going to be way easier!
Teri
Showing posts with label water heater. Show all posts
Showing posts with label water heater. Show all posts
Sunday, February 19, 2012
The End of Phase II
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Monday, January 16, 2012
First Week Recap of HCG Phase II
I know you have all been waiting to see this post. :- o Today I will focus on what I have thought of my first week of Phase II while balancing my insane schedule, as well as sharing with you my results, mistakes, and feelings thus far.
I was really hungry until about Wednesday or Thursday. My stomach was talking to me all the time. Gurgling, moaning. I just tried to space out eating my fruits, and melba toast on a needed basis to reduce the pangs. There is definitely a balance to when you eat when you have to consider a schedule that consists of going to classes during your work shift. I think I will have a better handle on it this week. I had five interviews last week at work (on top of regular editing and programming planning- one which was also a video shoot), a meeting for The Winona Variety Show, and a practice for the Vagina Monologues. At one point, I went into work on Saturday to finish up something I forgot about that needed to air Monday. This was most likely due to adding homework into the equation. (Yes, there was homework the first week. There was a bunch of reading.) Sunday I attended my Belly dancing classes. Thankfully at 3:00 (about a half an hour to finish) we switched to practicing our zil techniques, which gave a reprieve from the dancing. I was beginning to wear out, and was feeling weak. There is a point when your body will tell you "OK, you need to stop" when on 500 calories. That is for sure.
It's really important to stay hydrated on Phase II. Your fat cells will try to glom onto water in your body during the diet, so the more flushing you can do, the better off you are. So, I like ice tea. Unsweetened ice tea. I usually put lemon juice in the tea, with Stevia. Normally this isn't a problem, however I learned that the lemon juice I was using had a bit of lemon oil in it, which comes from the skin of the fruit. Once I found out this little tid-bit of info, I just started squeezing my own. There are companies out there that have lemon juice without oils. It's literally just the juice. One such company is Santa Cruz Organic. If you are juicing your own, do remember to count calories. One ounce is 8 calories. A great resource for calculating calories is myfitnesspal.com. It's free to set up an account, and there is even an app for the iPhone/iPad. For me, it makes it easy to keep track of what I am doing food wise during and after HCG.
So how did I fair with the weight loss? That's a hard question to answer. Due to my own fears, I did not step on the scale during the loading Phase I period. Before I started loading I was at 160.4. It's safe to say based of previous loading phases I completed (when on HCG Fusion drops last year) - that I probably started Phase II somewhere between 163 to 165. On Thursday I made the mistake of stepping on the scale at night (trust me, this makes a difference) and saw I was 157.6 or so. I felt awful, but I was being stupid, not thinking of the weight I must have gained during the loading period, and not seeing the big picture. (Like I should b*tch about losing 2.5 pounds in 5 days.) On Saturday, I weighed in at 155.9. Sunday I was at 155.3. I am trying not to step on the scale everyday. If you get into that habit during Phase II, it will drive you crazy. It's better to look at it a week at a time.
As of today, I noticed I was comfortable in my size 10 jeans (before I gained the weight, I was mostly rocking my size 8's. Now the 10's feel loose, which is a reward in itself.
Now for the details, my measurements:
Well, there you have it. That's a overall 8.5 inch loss in the first 8 days of Phase II. You want to know my feelings on this? I will not lie, I wish my husband and I could go out and eat. It's going to be a while till that happens. We have a family gathering coming up Saturday - and it's a birthday party for the most adorable one year old ever - our nephew Jake. This means there will be cake. Lots of cake and other food which I cannot partake in. How do I deal? I pack my own food and eat with everyone else, and then I leave the room when the cake comes out.
For the most part, Jon and I are avoiding other social gatherings that revolve around food. Jon had a work holiday party on Saturday. He attended that, while I attended a play with mine and his parents. That's kinda how we'll be handling things. The last time we went to a social gathering with Jon's work friends during Phase II, it was a nightmare. Initially we were all going bowling - but then people wanted to stay and eat. I ordered a steak and told the wait staff that I needed the grill cleaned and no seasoning, butter or oil to go near it - which they did. I also had steamed broccoli. They brought out a side salad that had shredded cheese on it and croutons which I had to pick off. I felt like a freak while others ate pizza, huge delicious burgers, wraps, appetizer plates, you name it. And there I was, picking off something as tame as shredded cheese and croutons from my salad like it was a lab experiment or something incredibly offensive. I cried after we left. Lesson learned.
Last Monday a commercial came on for Papa John's Pizza, when Jon noticed me staring intently at the screen. Really intentley. I was looking at it the way a teenage boy would stare at his first porno. Jon turned the TV off after noticing this for the following 30 seconds to ease the pangs/feelings for the food. When you are on Phase II I swear your sense of smell is heightened to unbelievable proportions. You can smell chocolate from isles away from you in a supermarket. A pizza; somedays it feels you can pickup on the scent a block away. However, this Phase is for only 41 days. Currently I have 34 days till I can start adding calories back in during Phase III. This doesn't go on forever, and the payoff health wise is big. It's a small price to pay in my eyes!
Till Later!
I was really hungry until about Wednesday or Thursday. My stomach was talking to me all the time. Gurgling, moaning. I just tried to space out eating my fruits, and melba toast on a needed basis to reduce the pangs. There is definitely a balance to when you eat when you have to consider a schedule that consists of going to classes during your work shift. I think I will have a better handle on it this week. I had five interviews last week at work (on top of regular editing and programming planning- one which was also a video shoot), a meeting for The Winona Variety Show, and a practice for the Vagina Monologues. At one point, I went into work on Saturday to finish up something I forgot about that needed to air Monday. This was most likely due to adding homework into the equation. (Yes, there was homework the first week. There was a bunch of reading.) Sunday I attended my Belly dancing classes. Thankfully at 3:00 (about a half an hour to finish) we switched to practicing our zil techniques, which gave a reprieve from the dancing. I was beginning to wear out, and was feeling weak. There is a point when your body will tell you "OK, you need to stop" when on 500 calories. That is for sure.
It's really important to stay hydrated on Phase II. Your fat cells will try to glom onto water in your body during the diet, so the more flushing you can do, the better off you are. So, I like ice tea. Unsweetened ice tea. I usually put lemon juice in the tea, with Stevia. Normally this isn't a problem, however I learned that the lemon juice I was using had a bit of lemon oil in it, which comes from the skin of the fruit. Once I found out this little tid-bit of info, I just started squeezing my own. There are companies out there that have lemon juice without oils. It's literally just the juice. One such company is Santa Cruz Organic. If you are juicing your own, do remember to count calories. One ounce is 8 calories. A great resource for calculating calories is myfitnesspal.com. It's free to set up an account, and there is even an app for the iPhone/iPad. For me, it makes it easy to keep track of what I am doing food wise during and after HCG.
So how did I fair with the weight loss? That's a hard question to answer. Due to my own fears, I did not step on the scale during the loading Phase I period. Before I started loading I was at 160.4. It's safe to say based of previous loading phases I completed (when on HCG Fusion drops last year) - that I probably started Phase II somewhere between 163 to 165. On Thursday I made the mistake of stepping on the scale at night (trust me, this makes a difference) and saw I was 157.6 or so. I felt awful, but I was being stupid, not thinking of the weight I must have gained during the loading period, and not seeing the big picture. (Like I should b*tch about losing 2.5 pounds in 5 days.) On Saturday, I weighed in at 155.9. Sunday I was at 155.3. I am trying not to step on the scale everyday. If you get into that habit during Phase II, it will drive you crazy. It's better to look at it a week at a time.
As of today, I noticed I was comfortable in my size 10 jeans (before I gained the weight, I was mostly rocking my size 8's. Now the 10's feel loose, which is a reward in itself.
Now for the details, my measurements:
Body Measurement
|
1/3/12 Prior to HCG
|
1/14/12 Phase II HCG
|
Difference
|
Upper Arm Right
|
12
|
11.5
|
-0.5
|
Upper Arm Left
|
12
|
12
|
0
|
Bust
|
36.75
|
36.5
|
-0.25
|
Waist
|
30.75
|
29.25
|
-1.25
|
Abdomen
|
37.75
|
37.25
|
-0.5
|
Hip
|
41.75
|
41.5
|
-0.5
|
Upper Thigh Right
|
26.25
|
25.5
|
-0.5
|
Upper Thigh Left
|
26.25
|
25.25
|
-1.0
|
Lower Thigh Right
|
23.25
|
22.25
|
-1.0
|
Lower Thigh Left
|
22.75
|
22.25
|
-0.5
|
Upper Knee Right
|
19
|
18.5
|
-0.5
|
Upper Knee Left
|
19
|
18
|
-1.0
|
Lower Knee Right
|
14.5
|
14.5
|
0
|
Lower Knee Left
|
15
|
14.75
|
-0.25
|
Calf Right
|
15
|
15
|
0
|
Calf Left
|
15.75
|
15.25
|
-0.5
|
Ankle Right
|
12
|
12
|
0
|
Ankle Left
|
12.25
|
12
|
-0.25
|
Total Body Inches
|
392
|
383.25
|
Lost Inches = 8.5
|
Well, there you have it. That's a overall 8.5 inch loss in the first 8 days of Phase II. You want to know my feelings on this? I will not lie, I wish my husband and I could go out and eat. It's going to be a while till that happens. We have a family gathering coming up Saturday - and it's a birthday party for the most adorable one year old ever - our nephew Jake. This means there will be cake. Lots of cake and other food which I cannot partake in. How do I deal? I pack my own food and eat with everyone else, and then I leave the room when the cake comes out.
For the most part, Jon and I are avoiding other social gatherings that revolve around food. Jon had a work holiday party on Saturday. He attended that, while I attended a play with mine and his parents. That's kinda how we'll be handling things. The last time we went to a social gathering with Jon's work friends during Phase II, it was a nightmare. Initially we were all going bowling - but then people wanted to stay and eat. I ordered a steak and told the wait staff that I needed the grill cleaned and no seasoning, butter or oil to go near it - which they did. I also had steamed broccoli. They brought out a side salad that had shredded cheese on it and croutons which I had to pick off. I felt like a freak while others ate pizza, huge delicious burgers, wraps, appetizer plates, you name it. And there I was, picking off something as tame as shredded cheese and croutons from my salad like it was a lab experiment or something incredibly offensive. I cried after we left. Lesson learned.
Last Monday a commercial came on for Papa John's Pizza, when Jon noticed me staring intently at the screen. Really intentley. I was looking at it the way a teenage boy would stare at his first porno. Jon turned the TV off after noticing this for the following 30 seconds to ease the pangs/feelings for the food. When you are on Phase II I swear your sense of smell is heightened to unbelievable proportions. You can smell chocolate from isles away from you in a supermarket. A pizza; somedays it feels you can pickup on the scent a block away. However, this Phase is for only 41 days. Currently I have 34 days till I can start adding calories back in during Phase III. This doesn't go on forever, and the payoff health wise is big. It's a small price to pay in my eyes!
Till Later!
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Thursday, January 5, 2012
Loading Time and Breaking Water!
So, you may be curious about what the title of this entry alludes to. You're in luck. I am going to give you ALL the details. Probably more than you want to know. One of my nicknames used to be "Teri Too Much" or "TMI Teri". I will show you why if you decide to keep coming back for more.
Anyhow, this morning around 8:30 AM was the first day of taking my HCG injections. The best part is I have to eat like a pig. The worst part is - I have to eat like a pig! Ha! Let me first get to what HCG is.
Stephanie, (a dear friend of mine - friends since middle school) has been working on a handout that best describes it. (Stephanie runs Brilliant Bodywork. She introduced me to HCG and helped me shed the first 50. She honestly saved my life. We'll get to that later as I reveal more about myself.) According to the handout:
"HCG is a natural hormone produced in the body. It has many functions and is used medically to treat a variety of conditions. It is the pregnancy hormone. This hormone allows the body to metabolize fat and use it as energy for both mother and fetus. This acts as a "fail-safe" mechanism when energy is needed immediately. For weight loss, we use only a very small amount of HCG to capitalize on this same mechanism."
"HCG releases your fat reserves, your body begins to “consume” the fat, which acts as a source of energy in place of food. In essence, you burn about one pound of fat each day (one pound is 3,500 calories). Therefore, your total consumption each day will be about 4,000 calories – 500 from food and 3,500 from fat. That is why most patients do not experience extreme hunger while using HCG."
On the first two days of injections you are instructed to gorge yourself on food. This may seem counterproductive, but it works. Apparently, doing this primes the body for the 500 calorie diet I will be enjoying for the following 40 some odd days. It gets my fat cells ready for action. I am to eat as many fatty foods as I can. Rocco's pizza from Goodview? Check. Tub of cookie dough? Check. Taco Bell run? Check. The last of some Cadbury Creme Eggs my husband had been stashing for me? Check and check! You get the idea. Somehow I managed to down a bunch of pistachios. Haven't touched the cookie dough yet. Just cannot bring myself to do it now. I am pretty stuffed. Yet it sits in the fridge, calling my name and taunting me. "Teri, c'mon! Let's do this! You can't have me or any other treats for a looooooong time after Friday. Put me in your mouth!" One is warned that it is hard to eat to capacity during this "loading phase" (also known as "Phase One"), but it must be done. I am really thirsty though. Extremely. Thirsty.
The above picture is of the needle I am to administer myself with every morning around the same time. You can see how small the needle is. Somehow I managed to stick myself this morning. I thought I was going to have to have my husband Jon do it but I put on my big girl pants and did it myself. Growing up, my Mother was a nurse. She was like a ninja with a needle. I would get surprise attack flu shots when not looking. "This is no big deal" I thought to myself, but even today there was slight hesitance of shoving a foreign object into my body. Truthfully, you can't really even feel it. You are to rotate around injection sites between the tummy, thighs, the buttocks, and arms.
Some of you may be tripping up on the 500 calories for 43 days part. (Known as Phase Two.) Yeah, I realize it sounds pretty awful. The first week takes some getting used to. This will be partly timed with my first week of college classes. College, which I haven't been in since 2004! I had mentioned in my previous entry that I have used HCG before, via taking drops. Supposedly taking injections guarantees a certain amount of the hormone, most likely more than I was getting with the drops. Therefore less crankiness when starting. Supposedly I won't feel hunger because the hormone will be using my fat for energy - instead of muscle.
So, what does one eat while restricted to 500 calories? Not much! Lean meats, and mostly green veggies, tomatoes. Fruit selections consist of oranges, apples, strawberries, and pink grapefruit. Carbs? Not really. Other than a cracker of melba toast, or a Grissini Breadstick (think the kind you get in a cafeteria shrink wrapped - only longer and no sesame seeds) twice a day. No oils, no dairy, no sugars. The no sugars thing is tricky - especially when it comes to using spices. You have to be religious when checking labels. No soda. Coffee and tea are allowed. I can make myself fake lemonade by using Stevia (a natural sweetener that your body does not process as a sugar) and lemon. It actually tastes pretty good.
So, why the heck would I do this? Because it works and it's not drawn out over a year. I am EXTREMELY impatient. If I do not see results right away, I jump off the wagon. I need an extreme diet to go with my extreme personality.
In other news, the water heater decided to take a crap last-night. I knew there was a problem when Jon brought the garden hose in from outside. His response when asked what was wrong was "Oh nothing. Didn't want the hose to freeze". I asked him again five times. Then he said the basement was wet/flooded. The thing is - Jon is a joker, and sometimes I can't tell if he is joking or not. It's part of his charm. He smiles when he does it to keep you guessing. After a while, he sat on the couch next to me, put his arm around my shoulder and said, "The water heater is dead. It's done dancing. You want to survey the damage?" Whenever Jon uses the term "done dancing" he means it. Then I know he's not joking. There wasn't much water down there, a couple of things were damp, but not ruined. I had to bum a shower from the in-laws before going to work after my morning injection. This afternoon, Jon purchased a new 40 gallon water heater from Fleet Farm, which ended up only costing us about $227 due to a nice amount of gift cards we received as wedding presents. It took Jon and his Dad from 1 PM - 6:40 PM to install it, but it's installed and working well. We have hot water. We could not be happier about that!
Jon and I have had a bit of bad luck lately. Friday before Christmas Jon's car slipped on some ice and skated a curb. Some damage was done to the right from rim, and control arm. The car needed an alignment. We were quoted $500 - $600 in repairs. Since it was a holiday, we wouldn't get the car back until Friday Dec 30th. Jon works in LaCrosse. I work in Winona. The repair shop wanted $30 a day for a rental. We wanted no part of that. So, how did we manage? Well, it was the holidays and I had some time off. Friday through Monday. I managed to get really sick that Monday the 26th, which lasted through early Tuesday the 3rd. Transportation issue solved! It did suck being stranded - but it wasn't like I was going anywhere - other than the doctor multiple times. The kicker? When we went to pick up the car, it was over 1k in repair costs. I was furious no one called us to let us know that struts and other misc parts needed to be ordered. They say bad luck runs in threes. I think our turn is done!
This is getting really long. More tomorrow!
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